A Scare

So, last Friday I had a scare. I was getting ready to do a massage at Sound Stone Spa; a 90 minute on a woman who was referred by the owner's sister. I was encouraged to really "impress" this client.

Before my appointment, I went to the bathroom, and to my horror: blood. Not much, but immediately my heart started pounding. I thought, "Here we go again." I immediately let the receptionist know what was going on. I called the nurse at Mercy Clinic, and was prompted not to try to do the massage, but rather to put my feet up and rest. I was shaking.

The massage was cancelled, and I waited for Matt to come pick me up from the spa to take me to the clinic. I was encouraged by friends who told me they were praying for me. One woman, who is blessed with the gift of discernment, shared with me that she believed everything was going to be well and that God had this. I felt the Lord giving me a lot of calm.

Everything went better than I could have hoped. My vitals were all good. The doctor did an ultrasound and we got to see the tiniest of movements of my 7 week baby. He checked everything out: cervix was closed, and there was no sign of blood. He said that the baby was probably trying to find a good spot and decided to settle there, causing some implantation bleeding, which is actually a sign of health.

No bed rest was needed, and all regular duties could be resumed.

Phew! Praise God!

Cranky at 7 Weeks

So, I'm now at 7 weeks. I'm cranky tonight and I also feel so full and yucky. Most foods don't sound good these days, especially proteins, like meat and eggs. Mostly the meat tho. I have been trying to eat sweet potatoes, avocados, beans; thinks like that. Tonight I had some homemade gluten-free pancakes and nonfat Greek yogurt with cinnamon and maple syrup.

This afternoon Matt and I visited the midwife from Special Beginnings, off of Lindell Street. Barbara, one of the two midwives who works there, is a beautiful woman in her mid-forties with a wonderfully warm and caring, yet professional manner. We would love to do a home birth. There is a slight risk with first-timers of delivering still born, but even with a hospital birth there are no guarantees. There's a lot to think about between risks, insurance and out of pocket costs, rather thin walls where we live now, etc. Somehow I hope the home birth thing works out for us...next week I go in for my first check up at Mercy Hospital. That's my plan B.

Got to get on a regular exercise program. Have gone on a few walks, but that's about it.

A New Chapter

One week ago today my husband Matt went to the local drugstore and purchased a pregnancy test.

The week prior we went to Clark Trail and walked for three hours in the newly-welcomed spring sunshine and warmer temps. My husband left to go visit his parents in Lakeland, FL the next morning. Throughout the week I had various symptoms that I thought were precursors to my cycle. There were some odd symptoms, however. One night I woke up with burning in my throat, which I'd never experienced before. Something like heartburn.

My husband returned on Friday, and I started to worry that perhaps I was going into peri-menopause. After all, I'm 42! It's weird to even type out that number and look at it. It somehow doesn't seem to fit. I don't feel 42, whatever that means.

Last Sunday I couldn't take it anymore. I'm pretty on time, and hardly ever late, and never this late. Matt asked me if I'd like him to get a pregnancy test. I said, "Yes."  At least we could rule this out and then go from there.

The results didn't take long. I stared at the tiny screen on the test wand in disbelief: "Pregnant." At first, I was just surprised and a little excited, but then my stunned enthusiasm quickly turned to fear, and I wondered, "What if I miscarry like before?"

Well, another week has come and gone. Soon, I'll be seeing the doctor and we can get a real understanding of what's going on inside of me. If my projections are correct, I'm going into my sixth week. I've had bouts of nausea (Young Living peppermint, ginger, and patchouli oil in a capsule help this), some cramping, and lots of fatigue. People tell me I look really good (the stereotypical "pregnancy glow"). My biggest craving has been dairy. I still love avocados, which is good, as they are supposed to be one of the best things you can eat while you are pregnant.

For months, I've been using Young Living products, namely clary sage, EndoFlex, Progessence Plus, Ningxia Red, basil, and other oils. I know that God is involved big-time, and I'm pretty sure that part of his work has included the use of these amazing products. 

This is a new chapter in the Antolick household. We are so excited and thankful. Whatever the future holds, very grateful to be on this venture and entrusted with this little life, whoever he or she may be!    

Creating Aromatherapy: A Day in the Life

Several months ago I created a couple of aromatherapy sprays for a local market I was to take part in. Blending scents is one of my most favorite and relaxing hobbies. Here I'm putting together a blend I call "Woodstock," which is a mix of patchouli, spices, and fir. As a fragrance "snob," I appreciate the high quality products Young Living produces, and have enjoyed using them every day. These pure plant essences create vastly different effects than synthetic fragrances do. Working with these oils lifts my mood and gives me a sense of well being. Their holistic influence is a wonderful side benefit!

 

 

To learn more about the world of aromtherapy, click on the link below and go to the "home" tab. From there you can learn about the many unique items Young Living has to offer. It's an amazing world just waiting to be discovered! 

http://bit.ly/1tKdfHu

                                   

Tips from Massage & Bodywork

I want to keep learning. After all, it keeps the brain sharp and life much more interesting. As a therapist, especially, I want to keep learning about my craft. So yesterday, I picked up the latest issue of massage & bodywork, the January/February 2015 edition, and started reading the article on "What It Takes To Create A Lifelong Career." 

I highlighted a couple of things, which I thought were especially applicable to me: 

1. Spot-treating, as opposed to whole body work. Ken and Alma Carroll, a couple who contributed to this article said that their business "turned a corner" when they started doing spot treatments on their clients. I agree. This is what I've started to do more of, and it's really making a big difference with a couple of my clients, one of which spent thousands of dollars on unsuccessful conventional treatments for a chronic pain issue that's lasted a few years now.
2.  Experiment with other types of massage modalities. This one was good for me, as I tend to lean towards similar methods or continuing education classes over and over, particularly Thai massage and aromatherapy.
3. Ask tough questions. In the article, there are a list of questions that every therapist should ask his or herself. It may be uncomfortable to think about where I fall short, but it is absolutely essential to success as a therapist. I need to work on this one more and "be prepared for honest feedback."
4. Walk the talk. I haven't been practicing this one so well. I need to take more time out for regular massages and personal wellness. 

Bodywork is a whole big world, even universe, of unique and interesting things to learn, one which requires curiosity and passion; courage and discomfort. Here's to growth and change in the new year!

Check out my website: www.bridgettantolicklmt.com for massage offers and info in the St. Louis, MO area.

My Post on Sage

I got a new oil in the mail last month from Young Living: sage, not to be confused with clary sage. I was curious to try this, as I love the smell of the herb, fresh or dried. It's pungent and herbaceous; slightly smokey. A fellow massage therapist I knew mixed it with geranium oil and used it as a cleaning spray for her massage chair. I remember loving the smell, which is why I decided to mix it with Joy, (a blend of bergamot, geranium, rose, jasmine and other oils) in my diffuser. I have some diffusing in my living room right now. The blend is clean and relaxing; sweet and spicy; uplifting. I love oils! Use 5-6 drops of sage, and 3-4 drops of Joy for diffusing. 

 

 Sage has been used for many things, including stuffiness, aches & pains, regulation of emotions & bodily (especially female) systems, and cleansing. For many years Native Americans have used the smoke of burning sage to cleanse spaces and other objects. 

As a teen, I would often cure a sore throat by making a cup of sage tea and drinking until the pain had gone. Though I don't have a sore throat right now, I expect to try a drop of sage oil in hot water if I do get one.

Sage oil could be helpful for cleansing the skin, unclogging pores, and toning. Here's a recipe for a skin toner (better for normal to oily skin) with sage oil:

1/4 cup of witch hazel

1/4 cup distilled or purified water

4 drops of sage oil   

http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/sage-essential-oil

3 drops of lavender oil  

http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/lavender-essential-oil

3 drops lemon oil

http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/lemon-essential-oil 

Blend well and store in a glass or aluminum spray bottle. Spritz onto face after cleansing or anytime you feel the need for a pick me up. Could also be used as an underarm deodorant or body spray.

If you'd like to learn more, click on the link below to read more about or order essential oils, or to scroll through the great essential oil kit collections (saves ya tons!): http://bit.ly/1tKdfHu

Notes from Two Lectures/Thoughts on Resiliance, Shame & Becoming a Person

I sat in on my husband's class today and took the following notes from his class with Professor Dan Zink. I also wove in some notes from another lecture I attended two days ago, given by Dr. Curt Thompson. Here they are:

"Be Becoming a Person"
Ephesians 1:1-15; 3:14-20. 
To be a person means to be open-hearted; resilient. Resilience has not been studied much. Some fascinating research; Hawaiian study. Emmy Werner studied people for 40 years.
Resilience: more than bouncing back. (no back to bounce back to!) Sense of a person being real and risk having people know them though they are a mess is a sign they are resilient. In counseling, the goal is to help the client be resilient; to not have them close down despite their circumstances. 
"...eyes of your heart enlightened...strengthen your inner being." (see verses from above portions) We are image-bearers, which means we have agency, which means we have capacity. We must be encouraged to relate to life open-heartedly in the face of what life throws at us. Resiliency DOES NOT equal "tough." 
Dan Allender's book "Wounded Heart." He talks about the aftermath of sexual abuse (or any other big or little trauma/nurturing absence we have experienced), and how we end up with relational strategies (styles of relating to other people). He categorizes three responses: "good," "tough," or "party girl/[lguy.]" Tough girls are not strong if there is much vulnerability. They think they are tough as they keep you at a distance so that no one knows who they are. The isolation in reality makes them weak. Party girls give up. They have the attitude of "eat, drink, and be merry." The good girls believe deeply that something is wrong with them so they work really, really hard. They work hard so that they can become worthy enough for people to love them. These styles of relating are all defensive.
How and when are we to be vulnerable? It takes committed connection.  It is assessing whether or not a "...relationship has an expiration date on it far enough out that it's worth taking a risk to be vulnerable." 
Edward Teyber: "Interpersonal Process in Therapy" addresses this issue.
Dr Curt Thompson ("Anatomy of the Soul") talks about the importance of being in tune with the 8 senses. So there are the typical 5 (taste, smell, see, hear, and touch), and then the sixth is the sense of what is going on inside our bodies, the seventh is the capacity of being aware that we are sensing these things, and the eighth is the capacity to sense the same thing in other people. Pay attention so we can do the eighth one well. It is important to learn this yourself before you can do it with others. Focus on yourself so that you can focus on others. If we don't pay attention to what our body is saying we will miss what God is saying to us. I Corinthians. 6:19.  When working with others simple questions are best. "What are you feeling towards me?" It helps people pay attention to their own hearts. Ultimately you will get to shame. Another good question: "How do you perceive yourself?"
Two types of secrets: mouth secrets and heart secrets. Better to have secrets of the mouth, more than secrets of the heart (Reference Patrick Rothfuss' book "The Wiseman's Fear," pg. 448) . "They [heart secrets] are private and painful, and we want nothing more than to hide them from the world. They do not swell and press against the mouth. They live in the heart, and the longer they are kept, the heavier they become...Given enough time, they cannot help but crush the heart that holds them." (pg. 489). The person with heart secrets is near, but not "with" you. [Professor Zink now pauses to take notice of the atmosphere change in the room. It is heavier]
Shame's primary purpose is to isolate us. We must be willing to go those places in the heart and share these in safe community.
We cannot change unless we present our whole bodies to God (Rom. 12:1,2). It's not just the mind. Our emotions are included in this. 
Ways to change:
1) Aerobic exercise: stimulates biochemistry which leads to neural growth and aids in depression.
2) Good sleep/rest: sabbath was made FOR man). Cut screen time an hour before bed. Are we living hurried or restful lives?
3) Appetite & diet: cut portions by half or a third and chew more slowly. 
4) Mindfulness. Pay attention to the present moment.
5) Meaningful Novelty: explore creativity.
6) Cultivate deeply connected intimate relationships: change is impossible apart from community
All change takes HARD WORK. Perseverance changes the brain.
How do we help people wrestle with their shame?
The best answers are less rational and more wholehearted. 
What is the relationship between forgiveness and resilience? We mess up in the church by starting with forgiveness. First, we must start with the process of grief, particularly anger. We need to be ambassadors of anger. We must get realistic about loss. We can get stuck by shutting the anger down. There are definitely wrong ways of expressing anger, but there are good ways of being angry at losses and abuses. Not to stay in the anger, but to be realistic about what happened. After the grieving process, we can now talk about why the abuser, for example, might have been the way he or she was without covering up what they've done. It takes courage to face this. Grief and forgiveness together is a letting go process. Forgiveness: letting go of making people pay. Reconciliation and forgiveness are not the same thing. This is not a quantitative process. It may take days or it may reoccur and you will have to work through it again. Grief: the process of letting go of hope (Have to be careful here to define this. Hope here means: "it doesn't really matter.").